The Unicorn in Captivity (transcript)
This is the transcript for The Unicorn in Captivity, the seventh episode of Season 7 and the overall seventy-eighth episode of The Venture Bros. Prologue Research and Development Laboratory (VenTech Tower, New York City) Billy Quizboy places an apple on a teleporter pad, then runs across the room to join Pete White and Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture behind a protective wall. Billy takes a deep breath as Dr. Venture raises the remote control for the teleporter, his thumb hovering over the button. [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: Gentlemen, we are about to embark... Dr. Venture presses the button on the remote control. The apple is teleported from its pad to another teleporter pad across the room from it. [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: Come on! I wanted to say something all profound for posterity. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Save it, Hobbit Oppenheimer. We don't even know if it worked this time. Pete White picks up the apple from the teleportation pad. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Well? Pete White sniffs at the apple. [[Pete White|'Pete White']]: Seems like a apple. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Take a bite. [[Pete White|'Pete White']]: Uh, y-you. [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: I'm gonna run diagnostics, make sure the genetic sequence isn't compromised. [[Pete White|'Pete White']]: Yeah, make sure there aren't any, you know... fly parts in it. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Seriously, double and triple fly-check. [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: Diagnostics are clean. Dr. Venture apprehensively takes a bite from the apple. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Hmm. [[Pete White|'Pete White']]: Well? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: It tastes like... success! [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]' and Pete White': Yes! [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: High five! [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: So who's gonna volunteer to be our first human subject? [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: Whoa, what? Uh, uh uh, no way. You're crazy. We're nowhere near ready for human testing. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: White, go find Hank. He'd do it for the free apple. [[Billy Quizboy|'Billy Quizboy']]: Doc, no! This is literally the first apple we haven't massacred. We need to study it, repeat the experiment, analyze and reanalyze all the data and then, maybe in a couple of months, move up to mice. [[The Pirate Captain|'The Pirate Captain']]: Ahoy, Chairman, iffen you're done fiddling with your fancy food processor, we need your signature on these... The Pirate Captain steps on the teleporter pad and is transported to the other teleporter pad across the room. [[The Pirate Captain|'The Pirate Captain']]: Ah! (coughing) The Pirate Captain drops his clipboard, leans forward, and vomits onto the teleporter pad beneath his feet. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: (scoffing) Not ready for human testing. Congratulations, Captain. You've just made super science history! Now, right this way, Captain. Billy is just gonna... Tiny Eagle speaks through the microphone in his helmet to his team members in their remote location. [[Tiny Eagle|'Tiny Eagle']]: He's done it! Repeat, Venture has done it! We are go for extraction. Tiny Eagle flies out of the laboratory through an air vent and emerges in the lobby of the VenTech Tower. He flies past Sergeant Hatred at the reception desk and toward Brock Samson, who has just entered the building. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Ugh. Brock sighs as he steps through the door. Tiny Eagle flies directly into the right lens of the sunglasses Brock is wearing. [[Tiny Eagle|'Tiny Eagle']]: Oh! [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]:' Huh? What the... ''Brock lowers his sunglasses to get a better look at the tiny supervillain hovering in front of him. [[Tiny Eagle|'''Tiny Eagle]]: Mayday! Mayday! I've been spotted. Initiating evasive... Brock reaches out with his left hand and unceremoniously squishes Tiny Eagle to death between his thumb and fingertips. TITLE SCREEN Act 1 Fitzcarraldo Mansion (Newark, New Jersey) The Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch have a heated discussion in the newly remodeled kitchen. Henchman 21 goes through the cabinets in the background, looking for cereal and a bowl. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: No! No way! Absolutely... I am not joining some dumb team. [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: You're not joining a team. You're just filling in for one job. I had to pull a lot of strings to get you this gig. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Well, unpull them then. Push them back, whatever. I don't want it. [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: No, but you need it! The Guild wants this thing so bad, they're offering a full EMA-level upgrade if the heist is successful. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: A heist? Sweet. What's the score? [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: Classified, Gary. I'm sorry. Henchman 21 pours milk into his bowl of cereal, then attempts to return the nearly empty milk carton to the refrigerator. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: It doesn't matter because I'm not inter— Don't you dare put that empty milk carton back! [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: There's still some left! It's a sip. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: A sip? A sip? Go get more milk. (sighs) Look, I'm just not a team player, okay, honey? The Monarch is strictly a solo act! [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: Yes, I know, sweetness. You're a precious unicorn, beautiful, unique, but can you at least just go and meet with them before you make up your mind, please, for me? Tophet Tower (New York City) The Monarch stands outside Tophet Tower. He sighs and groans, grudgingly looking up toward his rendezvous location. CopyCat's Apartment (Tophet Tower, New York City) CopyCat opens the door of unit 44-44 to welcome The Monarch inside, a martini in his left hand. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Hey-o, guy-o, glad you could come on such short notice. Sashay on in here. The meeting has started. CopyCat and The Monarch walk into the living room of CopyCat's apartment. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Well, hey, all, looky what the me dragged in. Team, this here's Tiny Eagle's replacement, the Mighty Monarch. Mighty Monarch, meet the team. Dot Com, hack-stress extraordinaire. [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Hey. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: And to her lovely left is Tunnel Vision, our resident digger. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Hey, there, chief. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: That funny-looking fella is called Presto Change-O. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Greetings. Presto Change-O inflates his right hand to several times its normal size and giggles to himself. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: And over here, you've got Ramburglar, top-shelf smash-and-grabber. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: 'Sup? [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Lastly, there's Driver X. Ooh, he ain't much for words, but his getaway driving is poetry in motion. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Hey. So, uh, I'm a little late to this party, and my wife—the councilwoman, uh, was kind of hazy on the details. Uh, what exactly is the job? [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Oh, you're in for a treat, June bug. We're fixing to hit that there Venture headquarters. CopyCat points through his picture window at the VenTech Tower. Elevator (VenTech Tower, New York City) Dr. Venture and his OSI bodyguard, Brock Samson, stand side by side in the elevator. Brock holds the corpse of Tiny Eagle in the palm of his right hand. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Listen, Doc, I really need to talk to you about this security breach. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh, pfft, later. I want to get right to work on my press release. Brock puts Tiny Eagle's corpse away in the right pocket of his jacket. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: I mean, this is it, Brock, telepor-freaking-tation. Can you believe it? Oh, this is the kind of game-changer I've been working for my entire life. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Yeah, uh got to make a quick stop. Brock presses a button on the panel in the wall of the elevator. The door opens on an unfamiliar floor. Dummy Corp (VenTech Tower, New York City) The elevator dings. Brock and Dr. Venture step out into the lobby of Dummy Corp, which Dr. Venture does not recognize. The room is ringed by unadorned showroom dummies. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Huh. Didn't know we had tenants on this floor. Or... even this floor. Brock and Dr. Venture approach a lone receptionist sitting behind a large desk. A sign reading DUMMY CORP is above her head. Receptionist: Welcome back, Mr. Samson. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh, who's your little friend? [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: You want to meet her? Heya, sexy. Brock approaches the receptionist and whispers in her ear. He places his thumb on her tongue when she opens her mouth for him. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: (whispering in her ear) A little later, what do you say? Hmm? Yeah. Dr. Venture tugs on his collar and clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Well... (clears throat) Hmm. The receptionist's eyes rolls back in her head and briefly glow green. She splits down the middle as the room behind her opens up into a secret OSI base, hidden within the Dummy Corp in VenTech Tower. Hunter Gathers stands amongst a room full of OSI agents at computer terminals. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: And now my erection is completely gone. Thank you. (sighs) What is all this? [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Doc, it's, uh, uh, it's time we had the talk. CopyCat's Apartment (Tophet Tower, New York City) CopyCat stands in front of a board covered with photos and detailed plans, explaining the heist for The Monarch. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Now at 21:00 sharp, Tunnel V will move into position underground, snug as a bug next to old Doc Venture's lab. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: With the subway as cover, I can tunnel through the foundation over there, and no one will even hear a peep. At 21:20, I reach the VenTech ventilation access. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Oh, that's where I come in! The vents are laser-shielded and too small for any old dumb-dumb, so I just presto change-o into a snake and slither into the lab. [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Presto plugs this transmitter into Venture's security mainframe, and voilà, his whole system is my bitch. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: Once Dot shuts off the alarms and opens the doors, I grab the goods, load them into Presto. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: After I presto change-o into a human hand truck. Ooh, a man truck. (giggles) [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: We haul them out the loading dock, south exit. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Where Driver X will be waiting to whisk y'all to the safe house for champagne and revelry. Questions? New guy, how'd I guess? [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Yeah, uh, where am I while all this is happening? [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Oh, you're our eyes in the sky, pretty bird. Aerial reconnaissance. You'll be making a big old loop-de-loop all around that there VenTech. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: I'm a lookout? [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Now he gets it. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! If anyone should be taking lead on this thing, it's the Mighty Monarch. I've got decades of hot skinny on Venture. I know how he thinks, how he takes his coffee. I--I can tell you his Sleep Number! [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Sure, that sounds super useful. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: It's 25! He's soft. I say we scrap this whole plan and start from the top. You don't arch a Venture by sneaking around in his crawl space. You hit him high, and you hit him hard! CopyCat, you have, like, a copy-copter for the initial aerial assault? [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Told you we should've just bought a drone. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Looky here now, songbird. I'm the leader of this here band, and I say we ain't changing the set list an hour before showtime. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: An hour before… Wait. What?! [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Oh, yes, sir. Curtain goes up at 21:00 sharp. Tonights-ville. CopyCat winks conspiratorially at The Monarch. Dummy Corp (VenTech Tower, New York City) Hunter Gathers sits behind a desk in an enclosed room within the Dummy Corp, eyeing Dr. Venture seated before him on the other side of the desk. Brock Samson leans against a nearby wall, watching both of them. [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: So you've licked teleportation, huh? Well, give yourself a fat pat on the back. That's what we in the super-secrets biz call a game-changer. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Right? I was just telling Brock— [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: That's why you have to kill it. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: What? [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: Decommission it. Scrap it for parts. Torch all your files and never, ever speak of it again. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Uh, why would I do that? [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: Okay. Let's say you grace the world with this technological brain fart of yours. Have you given any thought to what happens next? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Pfft, you mean after they slap a Nobel on me? I retire to Spanakopita on a pile of money and women. [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: What happens to FedEx when grandma could just zap her famous fruitcake to her kiddies in Kalamazoo? How about the auto industry, the airlines, big oil? Global economy will go ass over teakettle. That's what. Some extremely powerful people ain't gonna like that, and they're gonna come a-gunning for you. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Isn't it kind of your job to protect me? [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: We kind of are, Doc, from yourself. [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: Shut it down and hand it over, or we'll shut it down and get real handsy about it. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ugh, this is crazy. It's a free country. [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: Mm-hmm. Is it now? Metal restraints lock into place over Dr. Venture's arms, securing him to his chair. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: What? Are you gonna torture me now? Brock, what the "F"? [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: It ain't like that, Doc. [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: More like group therapy. Hunter and Brock walk toward the exit door, turning their back on Dr. Venture. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: But wait a minute! Where are you going, Brock?! Ugh! What's gonna happen to me? Hello? Brock? Judas! The door closes behind Hunter and Brock as they leave the room, plunging it into darkness. Red backlit panels appear in the room around Dr. Venture, with human silhouettes visible through them. Illuminati #1: Greetings, Dr. Venture. We've been watching you for some time. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: And you are? [[Roy Brisby|'Roy Brisby']]: Oh, we've gone by many names throughout the centuries. [[Mexican University Administrator|'Mexican University Administrator']]: The Knights Templar. Illuminati #2: The Illuminati. [[Dr. Quentin Ball|'Dr. Quentin Ball']]: The Rothschild/Bilderberg Super Sentinels. Illuminati #1: We... Well, we kind of secretly control the world. [[Dr. Quentin Ball|'Dr. Quentin Ball']]: Until now, we've been happy to remain in shadows in so much as your business has not interfered with ours, but this teleporter of yours, it's really a game-changer. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: What is this, some kind of threat? Illuminati #1: No, Dr. Venture, an invitation. [[Dr. Quentin Ball|'Dr. Quentin Ball']]: As we said, we've been watching you, and we think you have what it takes to become one of us. [[Roy Brisby|'Roy Brisby']]: Think of it, power beyond your imagining, untold riches, your every desire fulfilled. [[Dr. Quentin Ball|'Dr. Quentin Ball']]: And all you need do is give up one little invention. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ugh. Illuminati #1: You don't have to make your mind up now. As it happens, we're convening in secret this very night, and we'd very much like to meet you in the flesh, as it were. Come. See what we can offer you, then decide. The lights cut out again. When they come back on the red lit panels have disappeared and the metal restraints on Dr. Venture's arms unlock themselves, releasing him. Dr. Venture silently looks around the room as he rubs his forearms. The Egg Sack - Fitzcarraldo Mansion (Newark, New Jersey) Henchman 21 and Manolo train for combat. 21 wears boxing strike pads on his hands. Manolo, wearing boxing gloves, punches the strike pads on 21's command. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Otra vez. Come on. Más fuerte. Henchman 21's cellphone begins ringing. 21 signals for Manolo to stop so that he may answer his phone. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Mucho mejor. Tiempo fuera, Manolo. Hey. How's your super-heist meeting? The Monarch, on his mobile phone, answers from the bathroom of CopyCat's apartment in Tophet Tower. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Super fucked. This heist is going down tonight. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Tonight? I thought it was just a meet-and-greet. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: So did I, like a get-to-know-you! [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: A go-see. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Exactly! No, it's all happening, like, now, and I'm supposed to fly and shit, and I don't have my wings! [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Check your back, dude. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: No, smartass, these are my cape wings. They're for showing, not for going. I need the good wings, the Glengarry wings. They're in the, uh, basement, cave, whatever. Find them! [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: All right. All right. Hold on. The Monarch sighs to himself, dropping the phone to his side. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: (muttering) Aerial reconnaissance. Dicks. The Monarch raises his phone to his ear again, resuming his conversation with Henchman 21. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Yeah, Copycat's place is pretty rad, though. It's got these fancy guest soaps that smell like an Italian gigolo smoking a grapefruit cigarette. Ramburglar knocks on the bathroom door, startling The Monarch. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: Hey, bug boy! What? You curling your eyebrows in there? Giddyap! The Monarch flushes the toilet. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Just a minute! [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Okay. I found them. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Great. Now get them over here fast, and make up a good cover story, will you? These people already look at me like I'm a Johnny Stupid. Brock Samson's car Brock Samson drives his car down a country road in what appears to be upstate New York. Dr. Venture sits in the passenger seat wearing a tuxedo and a blindfold over his eyes. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Just a little further, Doc. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh, did you say something? Because I don't speak to traitors. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: It's for your own good. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh, sure! That's what the Nazis said! [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: No, they didn't. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Well, I--I thought you were about to say you were only following orders. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: All right. You can take it off now. Illuminati manor in the countryside The car arrives at a fancy castle-like country manor based on The Cloisters in Manhattan. A valet in fine livery stands and opens the car door to let out Dr. Venture. Dr. Venture sizes him up and scoffs at him. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Get a load of this guy. I don't know if you should trust him with your car. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: I'm not. The tires on his car screech as Brock Samson peels out and drives away. Dr. Venture is left standing in front of the imposing house. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Huh, so hard finding good help these days. Uh… Valet 1: Your hosts are all waiting inside. Dr. Venture walks into the manor with the doors closing behind him. An identical valet to the one he just left outside approaches Dr. Venture. Valet 2: May I take your coat, sir? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: What? Oh, uh, sure. Uh, thanks. Dr. Venture walks up a staircase. Faint music is heard. Two more identical valets open a door to allow Dr. Venture entry into a cavernous great hall. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh. Dr. Venture observes dozens of naked people in masquerade masks having sex in a massive decadent orgy. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: I--I think I'm overdressed. Act 2 CopyCat's Apartment (Tophet Tower, New York City) CopyCat looks out at the city through his window while swirling a martini in one hand. He speaks to his crew through an earpiece in his left ear. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: All right, team. This ain't no dress rehearsal now. Curtain is fixing to go up. Y'all on your marks? Sewer below VenTech Tower (New York City) Ramburglar and Tunnel Vision travel down a river of sewage aboard Presto Change-O, who is shaped like a boat. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: We've, uh, reached the entry point there. We're, uh, ready to drill on Dot's signal. New York Electric van (Columbus Circle, New York City) Dot Com sits in the back of a NYE van parked in front of the VenTech Tower in Columbus Circle. She looks over computer monitors and equipment. Driver X sits up front in the driver seat. [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: I'm all set up out here. All systems online and ready to go. Sergeant Sloppy is about to start his nightly rounds, and I've got a northbound "A" train approaching in five, four, three, two. Sewer below VenTech Tower (New York City) [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Okay. Go. You've got 60 seconds. Tunnel vision begins drilling. CopyCat's Apartment (Tophet Tower, New York City) [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Swell, swell, right on schedule. Hey, Mighty Monarch, how we looking topside? Roof (Tophet Tower, New York City) [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Uh, everything looks great from up here where I am currently flying. Great Hall (Illuminati manor in the countryside) Music plays as a wide-eyed Dr. Venture walks through the manor, passing copulating couples everywhere he goes. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh. Hmm. You don't see that every day. Dr. Venture notices a figure dressed head to toe in hooded black robes with a mask covering his face. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh, hi! Are, uh, are you one of the guys I spoke to earlier on the, uh... The figure holds his index finger over his mouth where his lips would be, indicating silence. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ah. Dr. Venture clears his throat. A zebra neighs as it crosses his path. Dr. Venture approaches a masked bartender. Bartender: Thinking of joining? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Hmm? I haven't made up my mind yet. Oh. You mean joining the, uh, orgy? Bartender: Perhaps a bit of liquid courage? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Uh. (laughs) Capital idea, Jeeves. Oh, uh, is it an open bar? Bartender: But, of course, sir. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ah, swell. Don't suppose you know how to make a Red Mocho Kooler, do you? Bartender: Whatever you desire. A masked but otherwise naked Roy Brisby drives by on his motorized wheelchair with a naked, masked woman in his lap. [[Roy Brisby|'Roy Brisby']]: Ooh. Ooh. Roy Brisby chuckles as he passes the bar. Dr. Venture eats some of the sashimi on display at the bar. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ah, these are amazing. Bartender: Yes. The orphan sashimi is positively decadent. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: I'm sorry. Orphan... Bartender: Sashimi. Extra virgin, of course. Our chef insists on only the very cleanest orphans. Dr. Venture gags, his cheeks puffing up as he presses his hands over his mouth. Courtyard (Illuminati manor in the countryside) Coughing loudly, Dr. Venture rushes outside into a star lit courtyard, stopping at an ornate fountain in the center. Cupping his hands he splashes handful after handful of water into his mouth, attempting to wash away the taste of orphan. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Bah, ugh. Dr. Venture looks up to see a man in a crescent moon mask washing his genitals with the same fountain water Dr. Venture had just been drinking. Man: Ooh, swell party, hmm? Dr. Venture retches, spitting the water back into the fountain. He runs a few paces away from the fountain before stopping to catch his breath, then looks up to see a topless Dr. Mrs. The Monarch wearing a fancy mask. [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: Having a good time? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Well, apparently, I just ate part of a small child and then washed it down with penis, so... [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: Hey, if that's what you're into. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: What? No! Actually, I'm a little lost. Are you a member of this, uh... [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: Pseudo-religious capitalist crony club? God, no. Just an anonymous working girl here to service the masters of the universe. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Oh. Realization creeps into his voice. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ohhh... [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: This gig was a lot easier before they inducted the guy who invented Viagra, I'll tell you. That's him over there next to big oil and big tobacco. They're the ones double-teaming Patty. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Uh, do I know you? Dr. Venture reaches for her mask. She gently takes his hand, stopping him from removing her mask. [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: No. You don't want to do that here. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Uh, then perhaps we should go somewhere more private. An orgy participant in hooded robes and a mask walks up to Dr. Mrs. The Monarch and grips her by the left arm. Orgy Participant: May I borrow her? Dr. Mrs. The Monarch walks off with the orgy participant. She turns to Dr. Venture and speaks quietly to him as she passes. [[Dr. Mrs. The Monarch|'Dr. Mrs. The Monarch']]: Meet me by the tapestries in twenty minutes. Research and Development Laboratory (VenTech Tower, New York City) Presto Change-O, in the form of a snake, slips through a ventilation grate and a laser grid into the laboratory. He slithers across the floor, then coughs up a USB transmitter and transforms back into his humanoid form. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Presto change-o, I'm in! Dot Com instructs him remotely. [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Good! Find the mainframe and get that transmitter plugged in. A light goes off above the elevator, catching Presto Change-O's notice. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Ooh, someone is coming! It's Samson! What do I do? [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Dude, what? He's not supposed to be here! [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Oh, good Lord. This ain't good. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: Ah, that's it. Let me at him. [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Hold your position, Ramburglar. You bust in before I've hacked the system, you'll trigger a total lockdown. Monarch, plan "B". Roof (Tophet Tower, New York City) [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Plan "B"? What--what plan "B"? [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: God, did you pay, like, no attention at the meeting? Proceed to the Venture penthouse and create a diversion to draw Samson away from the lab, stat! [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Okay! Henchman 21 arrives in a pharmacy worker's uniform. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Uh, I'm here. I'm here. Subway took forever. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Oh, thank God. You got my wings, Mr. Late? [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Yeah, yeah, here. Dude, can I use CopyCat's bathroom? [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Yeah, whatever. Wait. What--what the fuck is this? The Monarch pulls a package of adult diapers out of the bag that is supposed to contain his wings. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: It's your wings. That was gonna be my cover story. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Your cover story is, I shit myself? [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Hey, you make a lie embarrassing enough, and nobody questions it. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Eh. Research and Development Laboratory (VenTech Tower, New York City) Brock Samson opens a carrying case designed to transport the teleporter pads. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: Samson is going for the teleporters. We ain't got time for this flying fuck up to make his move. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: I've got an idea. Presto Change-O transforms into a passable facsimile of H.E.L.P.eR., but in his yellow/purple/green color scheme. He speeds across the lab to plug the USB transmitter into the mainframe computer. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: H.E.L.P.eR., heya, buddy. I didn't see you... Ah, geez, did Doc paint you? [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Nice work, Presto. I'm in. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: H.E.L.P.eR.? [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Uh... (horn honks) Brock Samson unsheathes his knife. Presto Change-O transforms back into his humanoid form and cowers on the floor. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Dot, do something! Alarms go off. Two robotic claws descend from the ceiling and pick up the teleporter pads. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Ah, good Lord. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: Dot, what in the "H" did you do? [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: I-I’m not doing that! It's some kind of emergency evac or something! I can't stop it. Presto Change-O transforms into a jack-in-the-box and grabs one of the teleporter pads before it can be whisked away by the robotic claw. He transforms back into his humanoid form, laughing aloud. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: I got one! [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Good for you, Toy Man. Now you're gonna get dead. Ramburglar blindsides Brock Samson, slamming into him from the right. Brock goes flying across the room, shattering a large monitor when he hits it, then falling face forward, unconscious. Tophet Tower (New York City) The elevator dings. Henchman 21 steps out, clearly in need of a bathroom. He walks down the hallway until he finds 44-44. He presses his ear to the door, hearing indistinct conversation, then cautiously enters the apartment. 21 pokes his head in from the foyer, spying a living room full of at least seven CopyCats conversing and interacting with each other. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Go! [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Who needs a refill? [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Yes. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Rejiggered that old emergency evac to send the goods exactly where we want them. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Swell hacking, Mack. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Our little old decoy team must be in a whole heap of hot water. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: That was the plan, my man. Henchman 21 gasps and silently retreats from the apartment. On the roof of Tophet Tower The Monarch stands on the edge, looking across Columbus Circle at the VenTech Tower. Just after he steps off the edge his cellphone rings, disrupting his flight. He adjusts, flapping his wings, and answers the call. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Ah! Not a good time! Henchman 21 dashes into the elevator, frantically jabbing at the button. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Dude, dude, you got to abort! Abort! Copycat has got another heist team! You're being set up! You're decoys! You're decoys! You're— The signal cuts out as the elevator doors close on Henchman 21. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Wait! What? The Monarch looks at his phone in confusion. A helicopter flies behind him, knocking him off course and sending him careening through the glass window of Dr. Venture's bedroom in the VenTech Tower. VenTech Tower (New York City) The Monarch smashes through the window and topples into Dr. Venture's bedroom in the VenTech Tower. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah! Ow! Ow! The Monarch lands face first on the bed, a trail of broken glass following him. He sits up, a huge shard of glass sticking out of his nose. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Owie. He yanks out the shard of glass. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Eh. The bed activates, sinking into the floor and dumping The Monarch down a chute toward the Panic Room. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah! Ow! The Monarch emerges from the chute and lands face first on the floor of the Panic Room. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Ugh! Ugh. He looks around the room and notices one of the teleporter pads on a table directly in front of him. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: W-What? No way. Illuminati manor in the countryside Dr. Venture, wearing nothing but his underwear, watch, and eyeglasses, reclines on a backless couch while staring at a tapestry showing a unicorn penned in by a circular fence. An ice bucket with an unopened bottle of champagne inside is nestled against his crotch. Dr. Venture checks his watch apprehensively. A door opens behind him and Illuminati #1 enters wearing a red hooded robe and a gold mask with horns on the forehead. Illuminati #1: "The Unicorn Is In Captivity and No Longer Dead," late 15th century, a truly exquisite piece and such an apt metaphor. Dr. Venture sighs, sits up, and puts the bucket on the floor. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ugh, because, let me guess, I'm the unicorn, and now I'm your prisoner. Illuminati #1: No. Illuminati #1 chuckles to himself. Illuminati #1: You're looking at it all wrong. Look at that little unicorn, the beatific smile. He's happy now. He gets to live in a beautiful garden. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Yeah, in a cage. Illuminati #1: A protective barrier. No one is hunting him anymore, nor can he hurt anyone with that horn of his. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Yeah, well, if it's all the same to you, this little unicorn would rather take his chances in the wilderness with his sweet-ass teleporter. Ominous m''usic plays as Dr. Venture turns and notices the room has filled with masked individuals in hooded black robes.'' Illuminati #1: Oh, I'm afraid that's not one of your options, Dr. Venture. No doubt you've read "The Lady or the Tiger"? [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Well, not, word for word, but… Illuminati #1: Behind door number one, the lady. A door opens, revealing Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, still topless and wearing the carnivale mask. Illuminati #1: I believe you two have already met. Give up your teleporter and join us, and she's all yours as is anything else you could ever desire. Behind door number two, meet Tiger. A second door opens, revealing a huge man wearing S&M gear, a tiger mask, and a huge robotic metal strap-on dildo. Illuminati #1 chuckles again. Illuminati #1: Tiger has desires, too. A knife emerges menacingly from the tip of the strap-on dildo. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Wha--What? Please tell me this is another metaphor. Illuminati #1: Cold, hard truth, Dr. Venture. In this world, it's fuck or be fucked. So which will it be? Research and Development Laboratory (VenTech Tower, New York City) Tunnel Vision, Ramburglar, and Presto Change-O stand over the unconscious form of Brock Samson. Ramburglar holds one of the teleporter pads in his hands. An alarm blares while red lights continue to flash. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Let's just go, Rambo. We got one of them. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: No, job was for both. You're gonna drill this boy's knees until he tells us where the other'un went. Panic Room (VenTech Tower, New York City) The Monarch, holding the other teleporter pad in his hands, looks it over and cackles to himself. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Oh, you are good, Monarch. The door to the Panic Room opens, revealing Sergeant Hatred leveling his gun at The Monarch. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah! Sergeant Hatred fires several times. The Monarch reflexively holds up the teleporter pad to shield himself, activating it. The bullets pass harmlessly through the pad, disappearing on contact. Research and Development Laboratory (VenTech Tower, New York City) The bullets from Sergeant Hatred's gun emerge from the teleporter pad in Ramburglar's hands, hitting him in the chest, right shoulder, and right horn. [[Ramburglar|'Ramburglar']]: Oh! Dang, I'm hit! Ramburglar drops the teleporter pad, the keels over himself, landing with his head on the pad. It teleports away, leaving the rest of his body behind. Panic Room (VenTech Tower, New York City) Ramburglar's severed head appears on the teleporter pad in The Monarch's hands. He tosses it aside in fright. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah, eh, eh! Research and Development Laboratory (VenTech Tower, New York City) Brock Samson starts to stir, his eyes still closed. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Ugh. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Oh God. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Look, he's coming to! Grab it! [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: I...How? [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Whoo! Presto Change-O transforms his right hand into a giant shovel and scoops up the teleporter pad with it. Brock Samson stands up in time to see Tunnel Vision and Presto Change-O run away with the teleporter pad. He mutters to himself. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Amateurs. Brock speaks into his wrist communicator watch. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: I need backup! Hostiles have taken the package, and I'm in pursuit. Panic Room (VenTech Tower, New York City) Sergeant Hatred stands outside of the Panic Room, gun still in hand. [[Sergeant Hatred|'Sergeant Hatred']]: Come on out of there right now, Monarch, and I promise I'll only wound you. Come out of there! There is no way out of this! Inside the Panic Room The Monarch cowers in fear, the teleporter pad clutched to his chest. '' Roof (VenTech Tower, New York City) ''On the roof of the VenTech Tower above the Panic Room, one of CopyCat's duplicates carefully puts the final explosive in place. He arms it and it begins beeping. The explosives all go off in quick succession, demolishing a portion of the roof and exposing the metal structure of the Panic Room directly beneath. CopyCat's helicopter hovers above the Panic Room and he lowers a giant magnet into place, which attaches to the Panic Room. The CopyCat flying the helicopter reports back to the main CopyCat. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Copycat 3 to Copycat Prime, the package is secure. The helicopter flies upward, yanking the Panic Room out of the VenTech Tower and causing The Monarch to lose his balance. Panic Room (VenTech Tower, New York City) [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah! Sergeant Hatred watches the Panic Room get ripped out of the building before his eyes and flown off by helicopter. [[Sergeant Hatred|'Sergeant Hatred']]: What? How in--? This is just banana-gins! Columbus Circle (New York City) Henchman 21 runs across Columbus Circle from Tophet Tower toward the VenTech Tower. He pants as he runs, approaching the NYE van holding Dot Com and Driver X. Driver X sees him approaching through the side view mirror. He raises the visor of his helmet, revealing himself to be one of CopyCat's duplicates, and snaps his fingers. Henchman 21 approaches the driver side door and, out of breath, begins speaking rapidly. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Listen, you guys don't know me, but you got to trust me. Henchman 21 slides open the door. Driver X's empty helmet falls to the ground and his clothes collapse inward, indicating that Driver X has disappeared. [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: You guys... What the fuck! [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Dude, who the hell are you? [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: I’m—I’m with the Monarch! You guys got to get out of here! This whole thing is a setup! [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: What did you do to Driver X? [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: What? I didn’t… There wasn't even a guy in there. Presto Change-O runs up to the truck, the teleporter pad clutched in his hands. The top half of Tunnel Vision emerges from a nearby open sewer manhole. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: S-s-start—start the truck, Chief. Samson is right on our tails. I think… Tunnel Vision is dragged back down into the sewer by his legs, disappearing from sight down the manhole. [[Tunnel Vision|'Tunnel Vision']]: Ah! Aah! Dot Com points at Henchman 21. [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: You're Driver X now, fatty. Presto Change-O tosses the teleporter pad to Henchman 21. [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Take this! I'll slow him down! Presto change-o! Presto Change-O transforms into a stair climbing machine. Brock Samson emerges from the manhole and steps directly onto the stair climber. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Oh, stop! Presto Change-O giggles incessantly. Brock Samson unsheathes his knife, raising it over his head to strike. [[Brock Samson|'Brock Samson']]: Stupid! Brock stabs Presto Change-O between the eyes. Blue blood spreads across his forehead. '' [[Presto Change-O|'Presto Change-O']]: Aaah! ''Presto Change-O transforms back to his humanoid form and falls on his back, clutching his forehead in pain. Henchman 21 peels out in the NYE van, accidentally dumping Dot Com out of the back and onto the street. '' [[Dot Com|'Dot Com']]: Whoa! W-T-F? ''A team of OSI soldiers run out of the VenTech lobby and join Brock in pursuing the van on foot. Roof (VenTech Tower, New York City) Sergeant Hatred runs across the roof of the VenTech Tower, aiming his gun at CopyCat's helicopter. [[Sergeant Hatred|'Sergeant Hatred']]: Aah! Sergeant Hatred fires several shots that miss, then teeters on the edge of the pool before finally falling in. He squeezes off a final shot before splashing into the water. [[Sergeant Hatred|'Sergeant Hatred']]: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Geez! Hatred's final bullet hits the tail of CopyCat's helicopter. A trail of smoke billows out of the hole as the copter flies toward Tophet Tower. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Copycat 3 to Copycat Base, got a big old mayday on my hands here. Holy mackerel, the engine is shot, literal like. Abort-arooni time. CopyCat's duplicate snaps his fingers, disappearing from the helicopter. CopyCat's Apartment (Tophet Tower, New York City) CopyCat's duplicate rejoins the original, who sits on his couch with a martini in hand, the picture window behind him. He turns quickly to see the unpiloted helicopter flying directly toward his apartment in Tophet Tower with the bulky metal Panic Room dangling dangerously beneath it. [[CopyCat|'CopyCat']]: Well, now doesn't that just put a turd in your soup? The helicopter crashes into the side of the building and explodes. The Panic Room tumbles toward the ground. Panic Room (Columbus Circle, New York City) The Monarch, Ramburglar's severed head, and the teleporter pad fly around inside the Panic Room as it goes into freefall. The Monarch scrambles to open the door, which he finds is pointed straight downward toward the statue of a hand clutching a globe in front of Tophet Tower. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah! The Monarch looks at the teleporter pad in desperation. The Panic Room crushes the metal globe, landing in the palm of the hand statute. New York Electric van (New York City) The Monarch suddenly appears on the teleporter pad in the passenger seat of the van driven by Henchman 21. They both begin screaming. [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Aah! [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: Aah! Both continue screaming as Henchman 21 swerves through traffic and smashes into a barrier in front of Tophet Tower. The Monarch, Henchman 21, and the teleporter pad go flying through the windshield, landing below the base of the hand statute by the entrance to the 59th Street-Columbus Circle Subway Station. Columbus Circle (New York City) [[Henchman 21|'Henchman 21']]: 'Sup? [[The Monarch|'The Monarch']]: Hey. The statue begins creaking under the weight of the heavy Panic Room. It leans forward, casting a foreboding shadow over The Monarch and Henchman 21, who defensively raise their arms to shield themselves. The Panic Room stops moving and dislodges the second teleporter pad, which lands neatly on top of the first one. The Monarch and Henchman 21 look on with disbelief, then triumph. The team of OSI soldiers catch up, appearing with guns drawn around the crashed NYE van. OSI Soldiers: Move, move, move, move, move, move! Brock Samson rushes up to join the OSI Soldiers. He stops at the metal barrier and looks down at where The Monarch and Henchman 21 should be. Instead he sees nothing but broken windshield glass. The villains and teleporters have disappeared, causing Brock to sigh angrily. Music plays as the end credits roll. Post-Credits Illuminati orgy Dr. Venture wears a unicorn mask beneath the tapestry of the Unicorn in Captivity. He is still surrounded by the figures in black hooded robes and masks, but is now entangled in a mass of naked bodies. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ah! Dr. Venture laughs joyously. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: You were right. Oh, this is the best decision I ever made. I'm the king of the world! Dummy Corp (VenTech Tower, New York City) Dr. Venture is revealed to still be in the small enclosed room in the Dummy Corp, deep inside VenTech Tower, hooked up to a virtual reality simulation machine. [[Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture|'Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture']]: Ahh. General Hunter Gathers and Brock Samson look on as Dr. Venture moans and makes obscene gestures. [[Hunter Gathers|'Hunter Gathers']]: Get a nerd laid, and they think they're masters of the universe. Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Season 7 Category:2018 television episodes